Stone 6th Anniversary Porter

An ode to density, viscoSity, and the unbearable opaqueness of being...

Considering that we were barreling down on a beeline path in what might have seemed to be a ruinous (get it?) direction with previous Anniversaries' IPA offerings to the hop god–hops are not a real religion, but perhaps they should be? Already a large and ravenous throng is ready and willing to offer their palates up on the sacrificial alter unto the not-yet deity–it might seem that we are grabbing the bottom of the steering wheel thrusting our full body weight and then some downwards to increase the force to the brakes while downshifting and spinning the wheel in an attempt at a vulpine Starsky & Hutch-esque move (how's that for a dated-not-pertaining-to-anything '70s reference there, Huggy Bear?) to reverse direction in a din of screeching tires and acrid rubber smoke (along with the obligatory camera shot of the lone-rolling hubcap) thus treating our brewery as if it were some sort of asphalt-faring drogher, to which I say a hearty "Nay!" to all that lurpy (which isn't even a real word, but it sounds cool and seems to somehow be apropos in this context) puerile nonsense for this is not what it seems by any stretch of the imagination as it is instead simply a very sharp turn within the context of that which is the Stone Anniversary Ale allowing us each to glow in our own individually pulchritudinous way as we pay homage with this sui generis "goosed up a notch or three" version of our much loved and equally misunderstood Stone Smoked Porter, which we think is truly the bee's knees in brewer's trousers.

Capice? Good. And don't worry about them succubuses (succubusi?)...our gargoyle is watching.